What do you have a passion to do, and enjoy doing? Or what do you suspect you might enjoy doing if you just looked into it a little more?
I have a passion for people- physically making a difference in hard circumstances, encouraging them, supporting them emotionally, helping them brainstorm and problem solve, getting to know them and understanding how they work. I also believe I would enjoy preparing women for childbirth by teaching childbirth classes, and helping women through childbirth and the postpartum period by becoming a doula. A couple other things- I enjoy writing, and if I could get started I think I would really love creating things- sewing, crocheting, making jewelry, painting, and other artsy stuff.
What do you do that has a significant impact on others?
Honestly, I don’t know. Currently, do I do anything that has a significant impact on others? I’m not asking that to try to appear humble; I’m asking that because I truly do not know. What I know is that I desperately desire to make a significant impact on others. But how? I think the most I do now is that I’m good at listening, empathizing, and encouraging, and I think people are impacted by that. But I want to do more.
What do you secretly believe you can do, but have never tried?
So many things. I believe I could start a non-profit organization. I’m not sure of the specifics of it, but there are three areas that I’m extremely interested in: pregnancy and natural childbirth, teen pregnancy and teen parenting, and poverty/homelessness/need. The thing is, there are lots of things I believe I could do, but I don’t know which one is the right path for me; I’d love to live in community with other people, with separate living areas for each family but also common areas, basically like a commune... I’d love to live in a small place in an inner city and work with the people who lived around me... I’d love to be a wanderer, moving from place to place with just my family and what we absolutely need, and working in various places and with all kinds of different people... I’d love to have a home that could be opened up to people who need a place to stay...
This quote in particular really hit home for me.
“I’d rather take my gifts and bury them. Forget about it. Play it safe. Stay home and be comfortable… Is it possible that for days or weeks or years, you have known or had a strong suspicion about something God gifted you and called you to do? I wonder what’s holding you back? Do you fear failure? Are you afraid of being uncomfortable? Do you hesitate at the thought of being stretched? Are you stuck in a fog of excuses or doubt or missing facts?”
Yes, that’s exactly it. More than I’d care to admit, I fear failure. I am terrified of it. I understand how important and necessary it can be to be uncomfortable and to be stretched—yet I am afraid of those things anyway. It’s so much easier to stay in my comfort zone and play it safe, dreaming about what I’d love to do and could do one day “if only…” But at the same time, it’s miserable. It makes me feel like such a waste of space, a waste of passion and talent. But then I’m so confused; I have broad ideas about things I’d like to do and things I’m interested in, but where do I begin? Which ones do I pursue? How in the world am I ever going to reach my destination? If I had more clarity about which direction, or directions, to go, that would be helpful. It would also be helpful to be able to break these larger dreams and ideas down into smaller steps and goals—but again, I need to know which ones to pursue first, right? At times I feel as though I’m bursting at the seams with passion and dreams… and at other times I feel so deflated and defeated, as though I will never get anywhere at all.
More on spiritual gifts tomorrow...
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