Time For a Praise Report

This afternoon we had a parent-teacher conference with Elijah’s preschool teacher. This is the same teacher he had when he was 3, the teacher who let me know that she thought he may have language delays. What a long way we’ve come since the fall of 2005. I just wanted to share a bit of our journey.

When Elijah started preschool at 3 years old, he hadn’t spoken a full sentence yet. His communication efforts were a combination of simple words and phrases, gestures, and a lot of memorization—he memorized books and videos, then repeated them constantly. I had been concerned about his language development in particular for a year and a half at that point, but my concerns were shrugged off by plenty of people who knew more about children than I did (including Elijah’s pediatrician). “He’s fine, he’ll grow out of it,” is what I heard, so I tried to believe it. That fall, however, his preschool teacher finally said the words that I had needed to hear: “I’m concerned about Elijah’s language development.” Within a few weeks he was tested for and diagnosed with developmental delays—not just in language, but in all five areas tested. Speech/language development, cognitive skills, social skills, self-help skills, and motor skills. In some areas he tested around a year behind; in others, he was almost two years behind.

The next year and a half was a roller coaster. Around Thanksgiving of 2005 Elijah started going to a second preschool program for special-needs kids through the city school system, on top of his 3-morning-a-week church program. In the spring of 2006 the school system began autism testing, and over the summer I worked with him a lot in the areas he was delayed, carefully planning activities and charting progress. In the fall of 2006 he was diagnosed with mild autism. About a month later we bought our house and moved outside the city limits, so Elijah had to move to the county school system’s special-needs program. By that spring I’d had enough. The new preschool program didn’t seem to be helping nearly as much as the city’s program had, and the church preschool that he was still attending was making a huge difference for him. We made the decision to remove him from the special-needs preschool and begin working more intensively at home. In the fall of 2007 he turned 5 and began his third and final year at the church preschool. It has been nearly a year since Elijah last went to a special-needs preschool classroom.

Today’s meeting with his teacher was like a breath of fresh air. In some ways it feels like we have finally reached the light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. Our conferences with teachers in the past have always been bittersweet—starting with the things he excels at, then moving into the list of areas where he is struggling. Today’s conference was nothing like that. He is doing great. He is no longer delayed in the areas I mentioned above. He’s talkative, social, empathetic, imaginative, creative, bright, ahead academically. The teacher is very confident that he will be ready to make the transition to kindergarten this fall. Any autistic tendencies that were there seem to have been overcome or have disappeared completely. (As a sidenote, we are having him re-tested in the coming months; I think we jumped the gun on that autism diagnosis.)

I have been overflowing with hope and joy since we talked with her. I am so proud of Elijah; he has worked very hard and made a tremendous, amazing amount of progress. His teacher heaped praise on us for being such proactive, involved parents—and I will admit I was kind of taken aback at first; I so readily see all the things I do wrong and all the ways I think I haven't done enough, and I never stop and give myself any credit for the things I have done right. I can’t say enough good things about Elijah’s preschool either; they have been so involved and so helpful every step of the way, and they have truly been a blessing in our lives. We have all worked hard—me and Clark, Elijah, the preschool teachers. But I mostly want to thank God. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has worked in amazing ways in this child’s life. Two and a half years ago, being where we are today was something I hoped for in my wildest dreams. I know God has wonderful plans for my son.