God Wants Us to Seek Him

Before I move on to the next segment (relationships with people), I wanted to talk about something I realized when I was thinking about my relationship with God.

It started with this quote from Chazown:

“God wants you to seek Him. And when you do, He will reveal the depths of His character, His nature, His glory. In ways you can’t imagine.”

Many times I've had the experience of wanting so badly to reach out and help or encourage someone, or to deepen my relationship with them, only to find that they resist the help, encouragement, or relationship I am offering. It hurts. I feel rejected and frustrated; it’s hardwired into my very core to help and encourage, and to have that pushed away as though it’s meaningless or unwanted is painful. I can think of so many times that I've been hesitant to follow my heart and offer help or encouragement because I'm afraid it will be unwelcome.

But as I read the above quote, I thought about a couple of things. One- I bet God understands how I feel. It’s hardwired into him to love people and pursue a relationship with us; he sacrificed his own son to make it happen. And it is probably painful to him, too, when he is rejected or his love is pushed away or unrecognized. But he doesn't give up or quit offering! And two- I have struggled with the idea that God wants me to seek him and that if I do, he’ll reveal himself to me. For the longest time I felt like I could seek him all I wanted, but he might not pay any attention. Or that I could seek him but he wouldn’t respond unless I was living a certain way, doing everything right, jumping through certain hoops- and that I'd just have to guess what those hoops might be. For some reason I had convinced myself that even if I desperately wanted to get closer to him and have a better relationship with him, he might push me away. The same fears I have in my relationships with people... hmm.