Finding Balance

I just need to think through some things...

Clark and I feel strongly about living a simple life—not having more than we need, not living an extravagant lifestyle, etc. We feel this way for several reasons: we want to be sure that we don't place too much importance or dependence on money or things, and we want to be able to give to others as much as we can. We are drawn to a lifestyle that is very different from what most people would consider “normal.” In our culture it just isn’t “normal” to stick with what we need and to not accumulate extra and to actually give our extra stuff away. It isn’t “normal” to want to live well below our means in order to be able to help others, or to want to live in community with others. We feel called to spend our lives, full-time, helping others, reaching out, giving, making a difference. And while we certainly don’t feel that every Christian is called to live this way, we feel called to live this way. We realize that we can’t possibly give enough or do enough to fix all the problems of everyone in need, but we feel very convicted to do all we can. We can’t change the world, but I think we CAN make a world of difference to someone.

The problem is, I struggle all the time with determining where the line is for us. I find myself asking all kinds of questions. When it comes to money, food, clothes, other stuff, our house, our vehicle—what do we actually NEED? Is it okay to have anything more than what we truly need? If so, then how much is too much? Where do we cross the line into unnecessary extravagance or luxury? Where do we cross the line into materialism or greed? I know many people probably do not struggle to find this balance, but I have a really hard time because of the way we feel called to live our lives. Plus, I tend to be an "all or nothing" person and so finding a balance usually isn't easy for me. And so I struggle with determining how much, if any, money we should save. Or how many clothes we should each have, or how many toys my children should have, or whether we should save for a bigger family car, or what place special treats or vacations should have. And so on.

I know that probably sounds crazy. But it is truly a big struggle for me. I'm not on a quest for legalistic rules about what's okay and what isn't; I just really want to figure out where the balance is, for us. I realize that because of the way we feel called to live and what we want to do with our lives, our balance may look different from others' and that's okay- but the fact that it may look different makes it difficult to figure out how it will look for us, if that makes any sense.